Afraid of Heights

I’ve a mixture of feelings in my heart –
Love, joy and despair – that I hide inside.
What I never feel, however, is hate:
Had I once hated, I’d have promptly died.

I’ve not experienced tangible love yet,
But the feeling came and went like warm air,
With sweet smell and taste I’ll never forget –
It lingers ‘til long after the affair.

Once feeling of love departs from my heart,
There remains the joy, which with thoughts of love
Fills my mind, and stays to set it apart,
To set it soaring high up and above.

But joy also leaves, and despair sets in.
The mind loses wings and comes crashing down.
While my heart becomes weary, weak and thin,
All I’m left with now is a bitter frown.

I could choose to hate, but I wish to live
And to experience real love someday.
Until then, I know I must wait, believe;
I must not falter and fall to dismay.